To our dear and beloved colleagues
We, by the bounty of the God Bachus and the Goddess Venus, Grand-Masters of the very illustrious, very famous & very universal Brotherhood of Gouteux. To all our dear confreres with crooked feet, hooked hands, both from the Church, from the Robe, from the Sword, and from the Third Estate, HELLO. Glass in hand, the duties attached to the important position we hold require us to reward the services of our brave & generous Students, who since their youth have dedicated themselves to our titular Gods, sacrificing on their altars, their goods , their spirit, their industry, & who have employed the days & the nights to deserve the attention of these great Divinities who have between their hands the favors reserved for youth; & being informed that our Amé & féal [............] would have from his first years traveled in the countries where our Gods are known & adored, in whose service he would have been so particularly attached, in particular in [..............] & in the vicinity of it, where he successfully completed all his studies, & passed through all the necessary steps to attract on his worn limbs , the rewards due to our oldest heroes. Finally, the benign Gods would have recently poured such abundant & singular favors over his carcass with both hands, that there is no bone, nerve, tendon, membrane, fiber, gland, apanecrosis, nor other articles of his worn body, which had not felt the effects of their celestial influence; so that we are obliged to admit and receive him as a Brother. For these Causes, & in the opinion of our Senate, specially convened for this purpose, we have recognized & received, recognize & receive [............] for one of our dear colleagues; & for his personal merit have created & established, create & establish to the following ranks & prerogatives, which we have assigned & assign; To know, to wear the lined coat, the lamb's pau gans or dog's pau mitten, the beaver cap, stockings & slippers, the stockings, chamois stirrups, the hat shoes, the cane bird, failing that, a pair of gallows. Like also to sit in the boiled leather armchair with wheels, & to stay there six months of the year, including three months in Spring, & three months in Autumn, & more if the case arises. To be carried to the Receptions of other Officers & to the Assemblies of the Order, without being allowed to walk; & add to the shield of its arms a branch of pretty natural wood; let us also allow him to shout, swear, curse, storm, beat, mistreat & play the devil at four during the violence of his pains; as also to amass gold & silver strength. Have also attributed & granted, attribute & grant as pledge to said office, sciatica, nefretic colic, chest fluxions, toothache, cramp & torticollis, payable in cash, alternately from month to month, without any reduction ; & as a last & final pledge the MISERERE to end his illustrious career. MANDATE to all our Friends & Faithful Counselors & Colleagues, to receive [................] in order to fully & perpetually enjoy all the above attributes: in faith whereof we have with our trembling & crooked hand signed, with difficulty, these presents, & had counter-signed by our Secretary, & to this we have appended our great seal.
GIVEN to Goutopolis to the Incurables the 33ª of the Moon of worry.
SUFFERING, President.
ENDURE, Reporter.
Checked on said day free of charge, SANREMEDE.
By Our Lords,
PATIENCE, Secretary.
Comments